Three Months!

We just passed the three month waiting mark! Wow. Three months already! In some ways, the wait has started to seem long, in other ways, three months have passed so quickly. From what I am hearing, I know that I am supposed to be preparing my heart for a lot more months of waiting…but I still have a lot of hope that God is going to provide a child for us in 2010.

So I hope. I wait. I trust.

I entrust my self and my child(ren) to the sovereignty and goodness of God. I entrust myself anew each time I get a newsletter chronically yet another way that the system is being delayed or things that will take longer. I choose trust, because I know that God is in the details! Nothing happens “by chance”. God is there, He is working and moving this crazy family in the US and all of the government officials and a child (or children) in Ethiopia to converge in His perfect timing. We were just made aware of another “delay” with the US Embassy in Ethiopia that will mean that we wait 6-8 more weeks (in response to the allegations against CWA, extra precautions are being made to ensure that the children CWA is placing are indeed orphans). And as hard as those 6-8 weeks will seem…the confidence that will be brought knowing that yet another government agency will declare that our adoption is legitimate and right – that’s priceless. To trust in God’s goodness, to see Him in the details, to wait with anticipation and excitement as unfolds His story for us that He has already written – what a privilege it is to place my heart and our lives in the hands of our loving God.

On a lighter note. Jacob has started playing “adoption”. He has a large stuffed horse (Bulls-eye)that is cinnamon colored and when we came home from Kentucky, we gave each boy a small stuffed horse (Kentucky, or Tuck, and Derby…clever, huh?). Tuck, Jakey’s horse, is a dark chocolate brown. He tells me the other day that Bulls-eye has adopted Tuck. That Tuck is now his son and that they’re a perfect family. And my mommy’s heart just soared…he get’s it.

We’re waiting for you, baby(ies) Ethiopia. All of us. And when you get here, we know it will be God’s perfect plan.

More Thoughts from Adopting for Life

Here are more quotes and thoughts from the second day of the Adopting for Life conference.

David Platt spoke from the book of Ruth, walking us through chapter 2.  Here are some quotes and thoughts from his sermon:

• “God uses sorrowful tragedies to set the stage for triumphs.”
• “Nothing in our lives happens by accident, everything happens by appointment.”
  • “God is in the details.”
• “God has ordained His people to be a reflection of His care for those in need” (James 1:27)
  • “The more you grow in God, the more you give yourself to those in need.”
• Boaz’s role as kinsmen redeemer mirrors adoption:
  • He had the right, the resources, and the resolve to be Ruth’s kinsman redeemer.
  • God had the right, the resources, and the resolve to adopt us.
  • When we adopt children, we must have the right (go through correct process, application, government clearance, etc.), the resources, (which God is gracious to provide), and the resolve.

From Dan Cruver’s breakout session:

• Horizontal adoption (parents adopting children today) must be driven by vertical adoption (God’s adoption of us).  Horizontal adoption can’t by driven by its “coolness” (the current and growing popularity of adoption) or else it will fizzle in the next 5 years or so.

From Eric Bancroft’s breakout session:

• As Gentiles, we should love ethnic (trans-ethnic) adoption because that is what our salvation is! Colossians 3:11
• About people’s responses to trans-ethnic adoptions:
  • Control your responses (as a parent) to difficult or insensitive statements.
    • In your responses you are teaching your children how to think about adoption and people’s questions.
    • You are also modeling for your children how to respond in these situations.
  • Recognize that ignorance is the cause of many hurtful statements.  This will require patience on our behalf.

Thoughts from the “Adopting for Life” Conference

Here are a couple of great quotes/thoughts from Russell Moore’s very gospel centered message at the “Adopting for Life Conference”:

• “We are not the solution to the orphan crisis.  The cross is the solution to the orphan crisis…and it is the solution to our crisis”  — Dr. Moore reminded us that we are not the Messiah swooping in to save orphans by all that WE do.  Rather we are people who have been saved from the crisis of our own sin and are able to bring the message of the cross to others in crisis.
• Paraphrase: “We don’t save orphans by making them middle-class American evangelical Christians.”
• Paraphrase: “Malaria kills…AIDS kills…but prosperity kills too.”

Here are a couple of paraphrased/summarized thoughts from Jedd Medefind’s message:

• We aren’t exempt from suffering/difficulty in adoption just because we are responding to the call of God (consider the faith and suffering of the men and women found in Hebrews 11).
• Remember, every adoption begins with a tragedy (so be willing to speak openly and boldly about the struggles in adoption).
• Adoption/orphan care can’t MERELY be a response to the world’s needs, pain, and sorrow.  1 John 4:19 ~ We love, because He first loved us.

We’re in a Band

We officially have a favorite CD for dance parties at our house. It’s a Sovereign Grace kid’s CD called To Be Like Jesus. If you have kids and you don’t have it, you should definitely get it. For those of you who have girls, a dance party is probably what it sounds like…however, if you have boys, a dance party may go more like this.

1. Start dancing to music. The louder the music, the better the moves.
2. Your oldest may think perhaps dancing is really like running. Begin running all around the house.
3. Get mad when Mom stops dancing. Really mom, see #2.
4. Realize dancing is really not as cool as playing instruments. Commence air-guitar.
5. Air guitars aren’t nearly as cool as real guitars. — see photo above.
6. Youngest child syndrome kicks in (aka selfish heart). Whatever instrument Mom has is the best ever — take every instrument Mom touches. Even if it’s the one I just put down. (hey, at least he didn’t try to take big brother’s guitar…)
7. More running.
8. Lot’s of spinning…and spinning…and spinning.

We have more room in our band. We’re seeking 1-2 members to join us. The sooner the better. We prefer members who are of Ethiopian descent. Must be willing to dance, play instruments, and run around like crazy.

Two Months Down…

At the beginning of the week, we passed the waiting two months mark. Two months down….??? to go. How do I feel? I had the realization this week that I could get a call. Yeah, sure, probably not for a long time still (more on that in a minute) but I technically COULD get a call anytime, since we are on a couple of “short” lists. This made me excited and nervous all at once. Excited at the thought that I could know who my son/daughter/sons/daughters might be…and nervous about all that will come (and the ensuing waiting) after we have a referral. Truly, the last two months have gone very quickly. And the next month should go quickly as well. But, waiting is still waiting…and I don’t always rest in God’s timing (see below…).

I took the “while you are waiting” webinar again this week. I was surprised how much information I gleaned that I had forgotten in just two months. I think I will plan to take it every other month. The only really new information is what they are telling people for wait times now. For infant girls 9-12 months before referral. For infant boys, 7-9 months before referral. Post referral, it’s generally 3-6 months before travel. So, do the math. If we are on the long side of the boy equation, it could be 13 months from now before we travel! (9mos till referral + 6mos till travel – 2mos waiting = 13 long months). Beyond the obvious reasons why this would be a bummer (I want to hold my baby/babies – I want them HOME!), is the financial issue of the adoption tax credit that is ending in 2010 (google it, then email your state rep.). 2011?? Please Lord, 2010!! So, we’re trying to prep for a longer wait. We are truly hoping it isn’t as long as they are saying it is (since we’re technically open to two kiddos or a little bit older, it may be quicker!). And hoping, at the least, to travel by end of 2010. Please Lord, please! All of that said, we know His plans are better than ours, so we readily submit to His timing. Even if it’s not until 2011. Or beyond….

Adopted for Life…and in Death

You need to read this story…

http://www.albertmohler.com/2010/02/03/adopted-for-life-and-death/

…just make sure you grab some tissues first.

The Lord Knows…

This week we got some interesting news. Apparently the there is a discussion going on in the court systems right now that will have some bearing on how many times we travel to Ethiopia. The current requirements are just one short visit at the very end of the process to pick up our child. Currently, we have a signed power of attorney to represent us for Ethiopian Court. Apparently this system isn’t working well for the children – especially older children. Here is what we were told:

According to our Country Representative, Ato Zerihun, there is currently a discussion by the court system in Ethiopia whether or not to require adoptive parents to appear in person for the court hearings of their prospective children.  This has the potential to make Ethiopia a two trip country; one trip for court and one trip for the Embassy appointment.

This discussion has been precipitated by the alarming number of cases being revoked – 43 thus far.   We are attempting to get clarification on the exact nature of revocations, but assume those are dissolutions.

The network of adoption agencies will meet with the president of the First Instance Court to discuss this proposed procedure. We do not have a date for this meeting as yet.

AT THIS TIME, this is only in the discussion stage and no changes have been made to the requirements. We just want to keep you informed as we learn more ourselves.    We will keep you apprised of any additional developments as we hear of them.  Keep this in prayer.

While we see the obvious benefits of parents meeting their children before court, especially in the case of older children, we also acknowledge the cost involved in traveling twice may be prohibitive for some families.

So – we wait and we pray! I am confident that if we go to Ethiopia twice (though it will double our remaining costs!) that it will be for our best…and the added benefit would be that we could meet our son or daughter (sons/daughters??) sooner! The only problem would be leaving them. How do parents DO that?? The very thought of seeing, holding, hugging, kissing my Ethiopian baby and then getting on a plane without them makes me want to vomit! BUT – I trust God’s grace would be sufficient even in that heartache! We’d appreciate your prayers for wisdom for the courts. We truly want them to do what is best for the children, even if it is inconvenient for us!

On a side note – anyone want to go to an Adoption conference???
We’re not sure yet if just Matt or if both of us will be attending – but it would be fun to see you there! Let us know if you’re going…

USCIS…

It’s been a long couple of weeks. We’ve been going NON STOP since before Christmas, and we’re both tired! There’s been work meetings, ministry stuff, lots of family obligations…and we’ve been burning the candle at both ends. Well, yesterday (yep, Sunday…we’re not always on top of things) Matt checked the mail after church and…we got our USCIS approval!!! I must admit, it had fallen a little off the radar, so it was a complete, wonderful surprise!! After posting our great news on facebook and then sharing it with some sweet friends last night…we realized not very many people know what this means. So, here is your USCIS approval lesson (from the USCIS website):

If the child you adopted or intend to adopt in the United States is residing abroad, the child will need an immigrant visa to enter the United States. Visas are issued by the U.S. Department of State (DOS) at the Embassy or Consulate in the foreign country where your child resides.

The type of visa your child is issued will determine what steps you will need to take for the child to acquire U.S. citizenship.

Immigration through adoption, or “Intercountry adoption,” refers to the adoption of a child born in one country by an adoptive parent living in another country. USCIS plays a key role in the intercountry adoption process.

You May Immigrate an Adopted Child Through the Orphan Process if:

• You Are a U.S. citizen.
  • If you are married, your spouse must also sign Form I-600, Petition to Classify Orphan as an Immediate Relative and must also adopt the child.
  • If you are not married, you must be at least 25 years old when you file the Form I-600 petition.
• You establish that you will provide proper parental care to the child.
• You establish that the child whom you have adopted or plan to adopt is an “orphan” as defined in U.S. immigration law.
• You establish that either:
  • You (and your spouse, if married) have adopted the child abroad, and that each of you saw the child in person before or during the adoption proceeding

    OR

  • You will adopt the child in the United States after the child arrives in the United States (you must have permission to bring the child out of his or her own country and to the United States for adoption).

Who is an Orphan?

Under U.S. immigration law, an orphan is a foreign-born child who:

• does not have any parents because of the death or disappearance of, abandonment or desertion by, or separation or loss from, both parents

  OR

• has a sole or surviving parent who is unable to care for the child, consistent with the local standards of the foreign sending country, and who has, in writing, irrevocably released the child for emigration and adoption.

You must file an orphan petition before the child’s 16th birthday, or before the child’s 18th birthday if the child is a birth sibling of another child whom you have also adopted and who immigrated (or will immigrate) as:

• an orphan based on a Form I-600 petition filed before the sibling’s 16th birthday

  OR

• an “adopted child” as defined in Section 101(b)(1)(F) of the Immigration and Nationality Act (INA) provided the actual adoption took place before that sibling’s 16th birthday.

Overseas Investigation

As part of the processing of your case, USCIS (or, in some cases, the Department of State) will conduct an investigation overseas to verify that the child is an orphan. The purpose of the investigation is to:

• Confirm that the child is an orphan as defined in the U.S. immigration law.
• Verify that you have obtained a valid adoption or grant of custody; the child does not have an illness or disability that is not described in the orphan petition.
• Determine whether the child has any special needs that were not fully addressed in your home study.
• Determine whether there are any facts showing that the child does not qualify for immigration as your adopted child.

Home Study:  Establishing Proper Parental Care

To establish your ability to provide proper parental care, you must submit a home study completed by someone authorized to complete an adoption home study in your home State (or anywhere in the United States, if you adopt the child while residing abroad).

The home study preparer must complete the home study according to the standards established in DHS regulations.  For more information on home study requirements see the “Orphan Home Study Guidelines” link to the left under “Home Study Information.”

Filing a Petition for Your Child

You can have us review both your suitability as an adoptive parent and the child’s status as an orphan at the same time. If you have already identified a child you want to adopt (or you have already adopted the child), you may file Form I-600, Petition to Classify an Orphan as an Immediate Relative.

Submit your home study with your Form I-600 and any other relevant evidence that you are suitable as an adoptive parent. Submit evidence that the child is an orphan and that you have adopted or intend to adopt the child.

Advance Processing

You may also begin the orphan process before you identify a particular child for adoption. You do so by filing Form I-600A, Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition. Submit the home study with the Form I-600A. If USCIS approves your Form I-600A, the finding that you are suitable as an adoptive parent will make it unnecessary to address this issue again, when you file a Form I-600 for a particular child. Once a particular child has been identified, you would then file a Form I-600 for that child.

If you do not file Form I-600A, then you must complete all requirements of the I-600A when filing Form I-600. (see forms on the right).

Before Traveling Abroad

• Verify that your Approval Notice is valid
• Verify that your fingerprints are still valid
• Contact the appropriate USCIS overseas office or U.S. embassy or consulate for details on processing times

After the Orphan Petition is Approved

Apply to a U.S. Embassy or consulate for a visa for your child. The Department of State officer who decides the visa application must determine whether your child is “inadmissible” under any provision in section 212(a) of the Immigration and Nationality Act. For children, the most common ground of inadmissibility is medical inadmissibility due to certain diseases, lack of required vaccinations, or other medical issues. If your child is inadmissible, you may be able to obtain a waiver of inadmissibility by filing Form I-601, Application for Waiver of Ground of Inadmissibility.

SO…what that means is that they’ve done our background checks (including fingerprinting) and received our homestudy information and found us to be approved to bring a child into the states!! This is a great milestone in the adoption journey, so we’re excited and celebrating today.

On a side note, our sweet friends who had us over made us boeuf bourguignon last night. Yes, the Julia Child recipe. And it was even more delicious than I had imagined. Our 18mo old ate a MAN portion. Truth be told, I probably ate a MAN portion too. It was perfectly cooked and seasoned…my desire for a good dutch oven seems to be returning at break-neck speed…perhaps AFTER we bring baby home And then we got to watch Bolt (well, part of it) on the BIG SCREEN in recliner movie seats. Now how’s THAT for celebrating!?!? Sure, we had this planned BEFORE we got the USCIS approval…but God knew that it would be the same day.

Orphans in Haiti

Haitian Orphans sleeping outside after the Quakes

My heart has been so heavy over the last week watching (minimally) the pictures and videos stream in from Haiti. It hardly seems real, sitting here in my warm house with plenty to eat and drink, not to mention easy access to medical care! I am so burdened for the orphans in particular. I read one article that stated that they were expecting the number of orphans in Haiti to TRIPLE by the end of this crisis. TRIPLE.

What can we do to help? If you’re anything like me, you’re probably scheming to try to bring a handful home — even if just for a time until things get figured out there. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be an option right now. This is a helpful page that aided me in understanding why I can’t just go get a houseful of kiddos and bring them back here for love, food, and medical care.

What we CAN do:
PRAY for the orphans (and widows and all of the Haitians!) in this time of crisis. Pray for those Christians who are there to be bold with the gospel, for God to graciously change hearts, and for many more opportunities for kingdom work in the days, weeks, and months to come.
Donate (click here or here for a link to some reputable charities)
Get Creative (like them or them)
PRAY for workers to go into the field. There will be many opportunities over time for people to go to Haiti to help rebuild. Pray and ask if God would have you go when the need arises. And pray that God would provide (maybe you, maybe me?) for the Orphans in Haiti – once things settle down a bit, there are going to be a lot of Orphans who need a home….

Do you have other ideas of things we can do? How are you praying?
How has God stirred YOUR heart as you’ve watched the situation in Haiti?

One Month!

one month

We just passed the “one month in the waiting room” mark. Wow…that was fast! If only they ALL would go that fast…

It’s been a busy month with Christmas and traveling to Spokane and enjoying time with family. All of the distractions were wonderful. So far, the waiting has not been very difficult. I do have moments where my heart aches for the little one that the Lord has made for our family, don’t get me wrong. And there have been many tears shed this month thinking about what is coming, and especially for birthmom. BUT, it has been much easier than I anticipated so far. So, I am thankful for that grace and will take it as long as it comes! I am sure as soon as the referral is in our hands, it will be VERY hard to wait. So, I will take these “easy” months and be thankful.

Ethiopia was on my heart as I made my Christmas list this year, and my sweet family has blessed us with a beautiful basket from Ethiopia (with all of the proceeds going toward digging a well in one Ethiopian community), a couple of pounds of Ethiopian coffee, and some books too! I am looking forward to reading them. One of the books I received was “From Ashes to Africa” which is a memoir of one infertile couple (ashes) who adopted (africa) and the story of God changing their hearts, giving them hope and joy, and burdening them for the “least of these”. It was a very quick read, but I really enjoyed it. They were very real about their struggles and pain along the way, and that was so helpful for me. God has been providing me with several opportunities to see the challenges as well as the joys from books, blogs, and conversations He’s brought in the last month. I am thankful for the reality check.

This month, we decided to sponsor a child from Ethiopia as well. It’s been fun having his picture around, praying for him, and thinking about a real boy and just just an idea of a boy in Ethiopia. I am amazed how God can take a country I hardly gave a thought to just a year ago and turn it into a daily thought and prayer. God is good to change our hearts and open our eyes!

So what will the next month bring??